The other day I saw a good movie. It was called Lola Versus. It’s about a 29-year-old woman who is about to get married to her very awesome boyfriend. Everything is going great until right before the wedding when her very awesome boyfriend can’t take the pressure of getting married and dumps her. Lola takes the next year to figure out who she is, what she wants, and how to be happy on her own. At the end of this movie her very unawesome boyfriend, who she is now friends with, comes to her and says he had the space he needed and is now ready to marry her. She tells him she’s happy to be his friend but she spent the whole year obsessing over him and needed her own space. She didn’t want to be with him. And the movie ended (spoiler alert) with her being very happy on her own. And what was my reaction to her decision to be a happy single gal? Anger and disappointment!?!?!
I was pissed that she didn’t go back with the guy. The guy who dumped her right before their wedding to get some “space”. WHAT THE H, me??? Gloria Steinem would be rolling over in her grave. (JK. She’s still alive and still rad. Thanks Wikipedia)
My head said “Good for her. She’s independent and LOOOOVING IT!” (High pitched screaming voice) My gut however (and maybe my heart) said, “Forgive his cowardice and marry that man, tout de suite. You’re going to die alone, with a thousand cats and a Robert Patterson life size cut out as a bed mate.” (Not that I know if those exist. No really, I’ve never checked Amazon to find out that they are $34.95. Get off my case.)
Why would that be my reaction? I spent many a day analyzing the reason for this. It confused me as to why little miss ‘ladies don’t need a man to be happy’ (that’s what I call myself. I’m very self-aware) would be disappointed in Lola for choosing to be alone. Then it came to me. Basically every movie that I’ve seen from ages nine to now ended with her not being happily single. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE these movies. Truly, Hallmark movies are my catnip. (And don’t get me started on ABCFamily movies. Amazing!). But has all this movie watching made me think it’s better to pick the jerk then to be alone? I remember my first reaction after I saw My Fair Lady was, “Oh my God, why would that beautiful women want to be with that old, crotchety, mean old man? (I mentioned old twice on purpose). Followed closely by “Well, he did buy her those pretty dresses and taught her how to speak good. Go get him Eliza.” I mostly blame, John Hughes, Reese Witherspoon and Meg Ryan. (For whom I distain and adore in equal measure.)
For young men perhaps violent movies are making them desensitized to violent actions, for young women perhaps romantic movies are making us feel disappointed in anything that’s not a fairytale. Our breakups need to be one sided and our make-ups need to be overt gestures accompanied by a kick ass soundtrack. This will not end well for women or men. So what’s the solution? Really. I’m asking. I once read a book that said women are way way way more picky then men. Is this true? What do women NEED in a man? What about men? I need answers.